


Only Human

by flecksofpoppy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, First Time, M/M, Titan Meta, because sometimes a foursome just doesn't cut it, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2005368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flecksofpoppy/pseuds/flecksofpoppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reiner wants to know what it’s like to be in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shingekinoboyfriends](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shingekinoboyfriends/gifts).



> This was written solely because shingekinoboyfriends wanted a fic where Reiner specifically tops Marco.
> 
> I promised to step up, boiii... and I wrote something kinda sad and porny. Read on for details.

Reiner wants to know what it’s like to be in love.

It’s not that he doesn’t understand affection, friendships, and even comradeship. Titan shifters share those relationships in common with humankind, just as many creatures that dwell together do, but it’s not the same.

He’s seen how the cadets interact—how Franz and Hannah are openly amorous, holding hands; how Jean compliments Mikasa and then blushes so red he looks like he’s going to combust—and it’s different than his own experiences.

He wants to forget what he’s done, who he is, and where he came from. The reason he’s here seems more and more like a terrible dream he had one night after eating spoiled food. The idea of armoring his skin seems almost funny now—sickeningly comical and ridiculous. He starts to think, in fact, that if humanity actually had such a power, they could finally defeat the Titans.

During these intervals, Bertolt takes his hand and asks him softly if he’s all right.

There isn’t a name for what Bertolt is to Reiner in the human tongue. He feels a kinship with Armin, Eren, and Mikasa, because they’ve known each other since childhood. They also depend on each other and are a unit; Bertolt is this way to Reiner.

But then other things muddle the definition. Reiner is relatively sure that his three friends don’t do the things he and Bertolt do—kiss and touch and sleep together. Even their hometown hadn’t ever known what to make of them; they have been inseparable since childhood.

The difference between Reiner and Bertolt, though, is that while Bertolt has always been shy and distant, Reiner has been known from an early age to have a soft heart. 

Reiner starts to forget where the difference lies between his curiosity about love and his desire to experience it, because it seems to be something that all humans strive toward.

Sometimes, Bertolt jerks him off on nights when they’re both overwhelmed and tired and taxed, and he kisses Reiner’s jaw and makes him orgasm. Reiner returns the favor, and in those moments he’s not sure how to describe how he feels, because it’s still something between just them—between two Titan shifters. So Reiner decides to experiment

Reiner chooses Marco for two reasons. One is because he seems capable of falling in the human version of love, and the second is because he’s predictable.

Many of the other cadets have short tempers, secrets, insecurities, and anger; but Marco Bodt has none of those qualities. He’s steady and even-keeled, and although he’s sincere, he also doesn’t seem particularly swayed by sentiment. These are all good qualities, Reiner thinks, for treading on unsteady and unfamiliar ground; not because he’s trying to prevent his own disappointment, but because he needs guidance from someone else.

When Reiner tells Bertolt what he wants to do, he doesn’t understand the tears in Bertolt’s eyes. But Bertolt doesn’t speak, and he just stares at Reiner with that impassive look, until turning away with an emotion that Reiner can’t put a name to.

It’s not hard to pique Marco’s interest. They are all a little hormone wracked, after all, and two years spent doing nothing except running everyday will make anyone a little crazy.

It’s over dinner one night, when Marco is telling a story about his siblings and everyone is laughing, that Reiner decides to broach the topic. He’s also curious about the way that Jean looks at Marco; it’s similar to the way Hannah looks at Franz, only Jean has no idea how bad he is at hiding his volatile emotions.

It’s after almost everyone is gone that Reiner makes his move, when Marco is still sitting at the table, and Reiner is purposely taking a long time to finish his stew. Bertolt hadn’t said a word to him at dinner, and had left much earlier than he usually did.

“Hey, Marco,” Reiner says, putting on a smile. He already feels less weighted by his conscience; the further he goes into the experience, the more distant the past becomes, until he’s relatively sure it’s all just a made-up story. “Can I ask your advice?”

Marco looks up in surprise from where he’s just about to retrieve his empty tray and put it in the dirty dish bin, and his eyes widen.

“Sure,” he says, smiling. “I don’t know how helpful I’ll be, though.”

Reiner grins and takes a seat in front of him, flipping the chair around and leaning forward on the table. This is a good start; these are good feelings. He wonders if this is how Jean feels when he first catches sight of Marco in the morning, or during drills—a nervous fluttering of the heart and anticipation, regardless of whether it manifests or not.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Marco immediately drops his eyes and blushes faintly, but he shrugs minutely. “Um...” he starts, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant, “what kind of advice are you looking for exactly?”

“Well,” Reiner replies, scrambling for something logical, since his actual reasons won’t make sense to Marco, “I... you know how much I like Christa. And I want to make sure I have a chance with her.”

Marco’s tense expression eases, and he looks up to meet Reiner’s eyes.

He’s attractive in his own way—not in the way that Reiner finds Bertolt attractive, because maybe that’s unique to Titan shifters—and the desire kicks in, making Reiner want it even more.

“I’ve been in love, I think,” Marco finally answers, nodding a little with a sheepish look.

Reiner doesn’t ask who; honestly, he doesn’t actually want to know. He just wants to experience it.

“Have you ever, uh... been with someone?”

“Wow, Reiner,” Marco laughs nervously, raising his eyebrows, “that’s kind of personal.”

Reiner decides to be straightforward, straightening up to look Marco right in the face. “I haven’t,” he says simply, “and I don’t want my first time with Christa to be awkward. I don’t want to make a bad impression.”

That inspires some consideration as Marco’s face becomes thoughtful, as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “Um, well, to answer your question...” He swallows hard and takes a breath. “No, I haven’t ‘been’ with anyone.”

“Do you want to?” Reiner asks. His face is serious, and he’s desperately hoping Marco says yes, especially now that he knows Marco has felt in his human heart what Reiner is looking to unravel, to experience.

Marco’s mouth drops open, and he just stares at Reiner in shock.

“You’re into guys?” he blurts out. “Uh, sorry... I just...”

“Well, I mean,” Reiner stammers, “I guess? I like Christa, though.”

Marco bites his lip, but he also doesn’t say no immediately. Then, looking as though he’s about to swallow his own tongue, croaks out, “What did you have in mind?”

They end up in one of the empty bunkhouses, currently in disuse since such a large crop of cadets had failed in the first few weeks of being there. The structures are used as extra sleeping quarters for when other military officials have to stay overnight.

They lie down awkwardly together one of the unmade wooden beds, and Reiner is surprised at how Marco immediately starts to kiss him, pulling their bodies close.

It feels really good, and Reiner kisses back just as enthusiastically. Marco’s lips are soft, and taste like peppermint. He remembers now that Marco chews peppermint after every meal—a practice which is solely a relic from his family. Jean had given him a hard time about, while Marco just grinned the entire time, chewing.

“Um,” Marco says, breaking the kiss, “I need to confess something.”

Reiner’s eyebrows raise, and he cocks his head to the side. He can already feel his cock waking up, and he tries to focus on what Marco’s saying.

“What’s that?” Reiner replies in what he hopes is a caring voice. 

“I lied before,” Marco blurts out, looking a little guilty, “when I said I’d never been with anyone. I mean, it was only once, but...”

Something like hurt flashes in Marco’s eyes, and Reiner feels a protective emotion swell in him; it’s the same feeling as when Armin couldn’t keep up in the rain that day.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Well,” Marco replies just as softly, “it’s not like I expect a marriage proposal or something, but... if we do this, can we not pretend it never happened?” He bites his lip, looking at Reiner hesitantly. “Will treat me the same?” 

Reiner’s eyes widen; he’s genuinely shocked, but then, he reminds himself that this is what he wanted to learn about firsthand. This is a facet of human love.

“No way,” he reassures Marco, hazarding a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Um... is that the person you’re in love with?”

“Yeah,” Marco whispers, looking down with a bittersweet smile. “It doesn’t always work out the way you want.”

Reiner nods his understanding, and then presses a soft kiss against Marco’s mouth; he can feel Marco’s hands immediately come to rest at his waist, and for a minute, he remembers Bertolt this way. They’re a similar height, but Reiner pushes those emotions away, because they’re confusing. He doesn’t want to think about Bertolt right now.

Marco takes off Reiner’s ODM gear first, and runs a hand over Reiner’s chest curiously; Reiner’s probably the biggest cadet in the squad, his body ideal for physical exertion and strength. Then, Marco takes off his own and lets it fall to the floor, pressing against Reiner and giving him an open mouthed kiss.

Reiner is curious, too, and he slides his hands up underneath Marco’s shirt. His skin is smooth—human, not capable of becoming a Titan, not armored or missing altogether—and his spine is one long, straight line that leads up to his shoulder blades.

He sighs happily, kissing down Reiner’s neck. “That feels good,” he murmurs. His voice almost sounds like he’s relieved, although Reiner can appreciate why. They’re pushed hard every single day, and receiving a caring or gentle touch isn’t to be taken for granted.

Marco’s shirt comes off, and then Reiner’s shirt comes off, and he gets Marco pressed against the bed on his back, their hips moving together in a lazy, experimental rhythm.

He can feel Marco is hard through his pants, and Reiner doesn’t think as he just goes on instinct, reaching down between Marco’s legs to rub at his cock.

The graceful way that Marco arches his back is actually beautiful—like the way they all arc through the air with ODM gear—and not a thunderous rage that shakes the ground. Marco is actually one of the most lithe in the 104th, with a long, lean body that he knows how to maneuver very deftly.

Marco’s mouth falls open when Reiner unzips his pants awkwardly, not noticing that it takes a few tries, and he spreads his legs willingly.

Reiner falls to the side to get a good look at Marco then, eyes closed as he pants, body taut with excitement and arousal; he lets out a long, deep moan as Reiner pushes his pants around his thighs.

He smiles a little, tipping his head to look at Reiner, a silly dazed look in his eye, and he reaches down to guide Reiner’s hand into a stroking motion.

“Is that good?” Reiner asks as Marco releases his hand. He lets go for a moment to spit into his palm—he knows at least that much—and start again, trying to remember what he likes. And, once again, immediately recalling how Bertolt does it.

He leaves that corner of his mind again, and focuses on Marco.

“Yeah,” Marco gasps, nodding his head quickly, moving his hips now, “that’s really good.” 

It goes on for a while, until Marco is making such loud sounds that Reiner is afraid they’re going to get caught; unexpectedly, though, Marco reaches down abruptly to grab Reiner’s wrist.

“Wait,” he gasps, “I’m going to... just wait.”

And just like that, Reiner loses the upper hand and finds himself on his back now, Marco hovering over him. Everything happens fast and feels better than Reiner could’ve ever imagined—Marco’s nimble fingers sliding up under his shirt and then brushing at his nipples; his boots being pulled off; and his pants being unzipped and guided down his legs.

He finds himself naked with Marco wearing only a shirt now, rutting against him, their cocks sliding together and wet with precome.

Reiner reaches down to grasps Marco’s ass, squeezing as he pulls narrow hips forward forcefully, and Marco gasps. 

“You’re really strong,” he stutters, his grip on Reiner’s upper arm tightening. This doesn’t sound a bad observation.

Reiner smiles humorlessly and shrugs. “I’m only human.”

The words feel good coming out of his mouth—better than telling the truth, but what is the truth at this point? He’s not the Armored Titan. The Armored Titan isn’t capable of touching Marco’s skin, feeling the smooth curve of his lower back or studying the freckles that are dusted across his shoulders. 

This is love on human terms, or at least some variation of it.

“Yeah, I guess,” Marco laughs, and then they both gasp as Marco shifts his hips down sharply.

Finally, Marco’s shirt comes off, too, and they’re both naked. “So, you said you, um... wanted to...” Marco starts, sounding nervous suddenly. “I mean, you want to do more than this.”

Reiner gives him a sheepish smile and a small shrug. “Only if that’s okay.”

Marco pulls away to sit up on the bed and run his eyes down Reiner’s body; he licks his lips, and Reiner already knows the answer.

“Um, do you have anything slick?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Reiner had been hoping Marco would say yes to this arrangement, so he’d tucked a small vial of oil from the kitchen into his pocket.

“Yeah,” he says softly, hoping Marco doesn’t take his forwardness as an insult. “Here.”

Marco takes the oil, and he smiles a little. “Good,” he finally says, looking up to meet Reiner’s eyes, “you came prepared.”

Reiner can’t help but grin at him, and, feeling a little brave, grabs Marco bodily and switches their positions.

“So, uh...” he starts awkwardly as Marco uncorks the oil, “how do we...”

Marco apparently is expecting this question, and he immediately hands Reiner the oil. “Put some of that on your fingers,” he says matter-of-factly, so surreal that it’s almost comical, “and then put your fingers inside of me.”

Reiner swallows hard and his eyes widen; he knows how it goes, but...

“Okay,” he breathes, doing as instructed. “You’ll tell me if...”

“I will,” Marco interjects. “Don’t worry.” Marco gives him a nervous little smile—it’s sweet, but stubborn. “It might hurt, but if it does, I’ll just tell you to stop. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Reiner agrees, nodding a little, before reaching down between Marco’s legs and pressing his fingers back.

“Ah,” Marco’s voice pitches up and he shudders, “Reiner...” The way he spreads his legs further apart and draws his knees up to give Reiner better access makes Reiner’s cock throb, and he keeps going. He’s slow and careful, but Marco doesn’t seem to be in pain.

They end up lying side by side, and Marco is clinging to Reiner, head turned and pressed against Reiner’s shoulder.

“God, yes,” he murmurs, moving his pelvis with Reiner’s fingers.

Marco is completely different like this—sweating and moaning and tense, his cock hard and standing out in front of him as it oozes precome. This isn’t the Marco in ODM gear with an easy, reassuring smile, flying gracefully through the forest canopy. This also isn’t the Marco who tells stories at dinner and breaks up fights when they arise.

This Marco is what people see when they’re in love, or at least in lust. Reiner understands the conceptual difference between the two sentiments, and while he identifies what’s happening as he slides his fingers in and out of Marco as lust, it’s still close enough.

“Okay,” Marco groans, “I’m ready.”

Reiner takes a sharp breath, and Marco opens his eyes to smile reassuringly. “It’s going to feel really good,” he nods. “Just don’t go too fast.”

“Okay,” Reiner breathes, positioning himself between Marco’s legs which end up on his shoulders.

He slicks up his cock well, and then positions himself to tease with the head. 

Marco immediately moans and pulls his legs further toward himself, opening his body more for Reiner.

Slowly, Reiner eases his cock in as Marco gives quiet little hiccups of breath, a look of intense concentration on his face, until Reiner’s all the way in.

He starts to move, and Marco pulls him forward for a kiss; it’s slow, but as the kiss degenerates into a press of mouths against each other, panting, so too does the movements of their bodies.

Marco feels amazing around Reiner’s cock, but he’s too embarrassed to tell him. Nevertheless, he gives it everything he’s got, and apparently Marco likes it that way.

The bed is creaking as he drives his hips forward over and over, his full strength showing as Marco’s back keeps hitting the wooden bed. He’s going to have bruises tomorrow, and for some reason, that makes Reiner feel even more human—the ability to bruise.

“Wait,” Marco gasps, “let me...”

He taps Reiner’s shoulder and motions for him to pull out—which Reiner does—and then he gets on his hands and knees, his ass in the air.

“Go ahead,” he sighs.

Reiner immediately grips his hips and slides back in, jerking Marco’s body back toward him as Marco whimpers. Both of his hands are fisted and he’s pressed them against the wood, scrabbling for something to hang onto.

“Oh _god_ ,” Reiner gasps, “I’m going to...”

“Go ahead,” Marco groans.

Reiner comes inside of him, his body shivering with the orgasm. It’s intense, and he identifies it immediately as a human response—it’s different than with Bertolt.

Marco gives a ragged cry a few moments after where he’s been stroking himself, and he comes, too, all over the bed.

They lie together for a few minutes afterwards; Marco presses every possible part of himself against Reiner. And Reiner, being as nurturing as he is, just holds onto Marco tightly, since that seems to be what he wants.

“Thanks,” Reiner says, his voice almost brusque, but Marco pats his hand.

“That was really good, Reiner,” he says softly. “I’m sure you’ll make Christa really happy if something happens between you two.”

Reiner blinks, and then remembers what he had said. He gets confused for a moment, because he thought he did like Christa, but now he remembers that it’s pointless to like Christa.

Marco finally pulls away, moves to get dressed, and probably wash up. 

Reiner watches him, and Marco looks at him in concern. “Are you okay?”

Reiner bites his cheek and doesn’t let it heal, but he nods and forces a casual smile onto his face. “Yeah.”

Marco pulls on his ODM gear again and presses a kiss against Reiner’s head. “I’m glad we did this. Maybe it’ll, um, help me with my problem.”

“Your problem?” Reiner asks with interest, pulling his t-shirt over his head.

“Being in love with someone who doesn’t love me.”

“Oh,” Reiner replies, frowning. He knows he should feel sympathy, but it’s really more fascination. “Well, maybe they do love you. Who knows?”

Marco stops and studies Reiner; suddenly, he looks very sad.

“Long shot,” he finally replies, and shrugs. “I wasn’t supposed to do that here anyway.”

Reiner nods, standing up as he pulls his own ODM gear back on. “Neither was I,” he replies. “We’re all here for different reasons.”

They part ways and Reiner watches Marco disappear toward the showers, and then he makes his own way back to the bunks.

It’s not until he’s at the door that he realizes exactly what he said—the different reasons they’re all here. And, for Marco, falling in love is apparently not one of them; but it happened anyway, which has caused him great grief.

Grief is something Reiner is familiar with.

He feels dizzy suddenly, and everything whirls around him—Marco, Christa, all of their friends, their fellow cadets, their enemies, and everyone blurs into one confusing ball of pain.

Until someone takes his hand gently, and pulls him close.

“You need to get some sleep,” Bertolt says quietly.

Reiner doesn’t say anything, even though he knows that he probably smells like Marco.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Bertolt asks softly after Reiner’s settled down on his side of the shared bed.

Reiner just closes his eyes and shakes his head.

Bertolt sighs, and then rolls over to get close and wrap his arm around Reiner. He doesn’t say anything, just gives a tired sigh and tangles their legs together.

Reasons are for soldiers and warriors; but it’s not until the moment when Reiner reaches to absently stroke Bertolt’s hair that he realizes that he is already loved.


End file.
